It takes a village

When my son started school my first thought was “Wow, now I have some time for me.” That did not last long at all. On his first day when I went to go pick him up all his teachers said was he was one of the most difficult children she had. He would not listen to her or anyone else. Mind you this school’s teachers could barely speak English for the most part. Not only that but Trent has a speech impediment. Having someone who you could understand and who would take the time to understand you is very important for Trent. Well during that time his father and I were going through a divorce so I thought that might be the reason he was acting out. He continued to do badly in this school so I took him out and moved across the country from AZ to KY. When Trent started his new school in Kentucky it was the same thing. He was not only disobedient, but he was violent. Yelling at the teacher and spiting at people. He would hit, kick, bite, scratch, and push his classmate. When he got in trouble he did not go to the principals’ office, he was put in a room to sit by himself. While in this room he would take off his shoes and throw them at the wall and scream at the top of his lungs. However every time I went up to the school, which was about every day, he would act perfect. No screaming, no crying, no yelling just a very apologetic child. Once I left though I was told he went right back to a disobedient child. He would not do his work in class so I would tell his teacher to send the work home with him and I would make sure it would get done. I was told she could not do that because she could not give him longer to do it then she gave the other kids. I told her that she should give him a zero if he did not do his work, but then send the work home so he would learn then no matter what he would end up having to do the work and she still told me that she could not send it home. This school would have me come up and give the ways to get through to Trent but then would never listen. I did everything I could to see what was wrong. I got him tested. Doctors told me he was everything from ADHD to bi polar. I had him put on medication. He had so many side effects from the medication. He lost 15 lbs in 2 months on one, he would not sleep on another and then all he did was sleep. I had him in therapy. While he was in therapy he bite his therapist. I was at my wits end. I was done turning him into a Ginny pig. I could not put him through that any more so I took him out of school and started home schooling him myself. He was doing really well at it and I never had any problems with him not doing what I asked him. Then I moved again from Kentucky to Utah and decided to try him in school again. I had heard that the school he would be going to was a great school for children with disabilities. So before he even started I went in a talked to his teacher. Made sure the whole school understood that I knew Trent was difficult to handle and that if they needed me then I would be up there in the drop of a hat. They put Trent on an IEP and worked really hard with him. They would not keep him in the same room for more than 30 mins. When he did really well he would go to the lower classes and help the teachers or get some computer time. He was still having some problems sometimes but was doing far better than he ever had before. I was not up at the school every day, nor was I getting phone calls all the time. Trent was getting good grades in school and now he even wanted to go to school. This year they did the nationwide testing and he scored higher than the national average. He is getting all A’s side for one B. I have never been as proud of him as I am now. He still has some troubles but you know what he works hard to make them not matter. When he grows up he want to be a game developer and has the computer smarts to do it now if he really wanted to. I love my son and even with all the struggles we have been through I would never ever change him. He reminds me that life is not just about getting things done but making sure your doing a little of what you want as well. I don’t think one person can raise a child. It takes many people who are willing to go the extra mile to make sure the child gets to where they need to go.